I have all these little, inner battles and struggles that, from an outwardly perspective, would probably deem me insane. So I won’t divulge too much as per the norm of things around here. However, I often feel like specific people at specific times fuck me with me, but sometimes not consciously, if that makes sense?
I know deep down that it is never how a portion of my mind is choosing to make me feel towards a moment, but the burdens I bare always love to fuel the little fires even further. More often than not, it’s always nothing. I might even consider these being little tests to reaffirm a belief in myself. This belief that under any circumstances, even all the time in the world permitting, I always get what I want and things go my way, even if eventually. Knowing this and having this self-confidence for so long, wouldn’t it be obvious to assume that I’d never need to worry or fret over stupid, little things? I’d like that assumption but yet here I am, once again letting a divide in my mind conquer my process of rational thoughts.
lol, right? It’s fine, everything is great, nothing too terrible looms in the distance for 2018. Nothing I can’t handle, that is. For real, 2018 is already easier than 2017 just because I am in full control,once again of all facets of my life. Never break. Never sweat. I got some obsessions, it’s true. I got some issues, yep! I neglect to deal with the majority of them in due fashion, but I always make it work. Just look at me TODAY vs me 10 years ago. Did I change? I thought I don’t believe in change? Change in attitude? …
I feel better already, this free flow of writing/ranting to whoever, anybody, and nobody. I used to do this more often. I used to do a lot of things. I used to have an audience based on love. If you know what I mean?
Those little things, they always get to me. They bug me, irritate me and make me think irrationally. However, I then remind myself quickly of little achievements or conquests, if you will, and I am put back into my daily 24/7 trance of carelessness and selfishness that, really, just bring me back down to earth where I believe I do what I do better than anyone else alive, period. You LOVE me! I always win. Don’t forget!
Whip Whip 2018 can’t stop me, not even worth my efforts.