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I have all these little, inner battles and struggles that, from an outwardly perspective, would probably deem me insane. So I won’t divulge too much as per the norm of things around here. However, I often feel like specific people at specific times fuck me with me, but sometimes not consciously, if that makes sense?
I know deep down that it is never how a portion of my mind is choosing to make me feel towards a moment, but the burdens I bare always love to fuel the little fires even further. More often than not, it’s always nothing. I might even consider these being little tests to reaffirm a belief in myself. This belief that under any circumstances, even all the time in the world permitting, I always get what I want and things go my way, even if eventually. Knowing this and having this self-confidence for so long, wouldn’t it be obvious to assume that I’d never need to worry or fret over stupid, little things? I’d like that assumption but yet here I am, once again letting a divide in my mind conquer my process of rational thoughts.
lol, right? It’s fine, everything is great, nothing too terrible looms in the distance for 2018. Nothing I can’t handle, that is. For real, 2018 is already easier than 2017 just because I am in full control,once again of all facets of my life. Never break. Never sweat. I got some obsessions, it’s true. I got some issues, yep! I neglect to deal with the majority of them in due fashion, but I always make it work. Just look at me TODAY vs me 10 years ago. Did I change? I thought I don’t believe in change? Change in attitude? …
I feel better already, this free flow of writing/ranting to whoever, anybody, and nobody. I used to do this more often. I used to do a lot of things. I used to have an audience based on love. If you know what I mean?
Those little things, they always get to me. They bug me, irritate me and make me think irrationally. However, I then remind myself quickly of little achievements or conquests, if you will, and I am put back into my daily 24/7 trance of carelessness and selfishness that, really, just bring me back down to earth where I believe I do what I do better than anyone else alive, period. You LOVE me! I always win. Don’t forget!
Whip Whip 2018 can’t stop me, not even worth my efforts.
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What started in 2016 and made most of 2017 difficult for myself has finally come to it’s grand conclusion, and I’m excited to announce that a winner is me. During it all, I never had a doubt or worried much at all. Fact is, while most of what I went through concerning this was of a more serious nature than what I’m used to, I’ve still had it worse. Always use the worst point or thing you’ve ever been through in your life to give you the true strength you know you have because you gained it by overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds stacked against you. Use that. Use it always.
It might not always be sudden, but never give up the hope as long as you believe in yourself. Work hard. Fight. Dream always.
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